Kinda looks like a dolphin that got caught in a tuna net.

Or is that a tuna that got caught in a womans net ?

Yep that's what this guy in London posted about his girl...but there's more. Read on.

"My chinese girlfriend is a whore (using me for immigration benefits).Looking for someone to fuck her hard. She's into this - tried it before - basically she'll do anything I ask (like a good girl)."

He continues with:

"Be willing to verbally, racially, (light physically) abuse her."

Ok, so here's my audition for this ad. He said "willing to verbally and racially, abuse her"

OK you dollar a day cunt. Take my white as rice cock into your little Kung Poa Pussy. You like that Ping Pang!?! Do You!

Yeah I can smell your Pork Fries cunt from the kitchen. Why don't you suck out the Cream-of-Some-Young-Guy and go make me some Chicken! 

You think I got what it takes? Why can't my girl be like this. Some guys have all the luck.

Here's a nice bottle of milk for you "blokes"!

she's looking for someone to blow a load on here tits and in her mouth.

From the looks of it, blowing my creamy white load on her might add some color.

haaaaaaaaaaaaa I'll be here all night...tip the waitresses. 

So she's in the UK for the month of August looking to "...return to the US with lots of UK adventures."

Not bad...a little upskirt action goin on. 

Cool, she likes it from behind...i'm down. Too bad I'm not in London.

Whoa! wiat a sec...

Looks more like she's selling watches.  

I'd do her and I do need a nice watch. double score  

Now boys make sure you read the headline.

She wants to hook up for a little smoke as well.

"Hey man, your bringin' my chill down to a new level you dig...now where's the cookies and chips maaaannnn...blaaahhh I'm' sooooo stoned?" 

WHOA!

Looks like she already ate all the cookies!  

Look, she's even rubbin' the old tum-tum-tummy too. 

Make sure you bring some Ben & Jerrys with you when you go over.

Fuck it I'd do her. She is a kinda cute. A few beers and some smoke and I'd be ok with it. There are people who've seen me with worse.  

"Wife wants sex with another man."

"my wife is a bbw who would like to find a few select men to have sex with . she wants a few select lovers who can give her pleasure." - Now really does she really get to select? I mean she does lok like the Kool-Aid guy breaking through a brick wall.

But it gets better....

"must be comfortable letting me watch, wife wants me to see how a man has sex with her" - Kool-Aid is telling this guy he sucks in bed and wants a coach over to help him understand how to fuck her. This guy needs to shoot himself.

"guys can you imagine my wife looked me in the eyes and told me she need to feel a better cock inside her." - Dude! Seriously, you need to have your man card revoked for letting this happen and still staying with this cunt. Dump that bitch.

"Couple looking for bi male to play with us tonight....Tonight only."  - OK.

"Do not right us and tell us you arent available." - I think they meant "write" but ok. Although, why would anyone write to them and say "hi this sounds fun but I'm not available?" Stupid!

"Must be fun, around our age, circumsized, Trimmed or shaved, and versitile" - Can someone explain versitile to me?

ummm, yeah...i think there's something growing on your nose! Is that a tumor? You might want to get that checked out. 

I know this is not a naked photo but this had to go up here.

This is what she wrote.

"Looking for a girl who loves oral? w4m - 34

This is the real thing. Only serious responses please. This must be on the down low. NSA

Looking for a man between the ages of 25 and 40."

Here's her pic

don't get it yet?

There is no way in fucking hell this woman in the picture used the term  "This must be on the down low."

I refuse to belive she knows what that means. FAKE! 

"we are a very open minded hot couple in our early 30's. Looking for a fun open sub girl to train as our sexual pet."

Ok, whatever...yadda yadda yadda. To each - his and her own. What gets to me about this is the picture!

They want a new friend to play with. She's "plump but active and tight as a mouse"

lol "tight as a mouse" That's a first. 

Well I hope that "mouse knows how to clean herself....

oh wait...yep , she does.

She's neervous about posting her picture and also about finding a guy on CL.

Well, she should be due to the fact that there are assholes like me going to post her picture on My Blog and make fun of her. I'm a dick i know. 

"Just broke up with my bf and I miss the intimacy and sex." Well good luck to you honey. Just remember we just want to fuck and don't really know what this word "intimacy" is. Is it some kind of new ferench lingere?

Why couldn't i meet her when i was 14.

the story she went into on this post got me chubby and wishing i knew her when she did what she did. YUM!

this all started when i was about 14 and my parents bought a brand new house and the houses around us were still under construction...in the summer when my parents went to work i would give the workers a little show through the window and sometimes touch myself while they watched from a distance...one day while i was showing off i got up the courage to wave one of the workers over, i was at the side door of the garage...when he came over i could see he was a little nervous and he asked me what was wrong...i just pointed at his crotch and led him into the garage...when he was inside i got on my knees in front of him and unzipped his jeans and took out his penis and started to lick and suck on it...

Yadda yadda yadda

come here and fuck me please 

the couples in Chicago reall love the women on women with the dude watching.

I really can't tell if shes shaved or if he's really that hairy. Someone needs a trim. 

Looking for a woman to cum fuck the 2 of them.

I'm sure as shit not putting his pic up here as it would spoil this fine ass

i'd love to see it without the thong.  

And he just wants to watch you fuck her. Why?

What the fuck is up with people. She's hot, why would you want to give that away.

i don't know.

it's just not my thing but if that is what gets you off buddy..well then fine!

I'll fuck her...no, no, no, it's ok. I'll do it to help you out, really.

This has nothing to do with me. Glad i could help.

MMMMMMMMMMM     MMMMMMMMMMM    MMMMMMMMMMM

Those look tasty, and fun, and ripe for the pickin.

To bad i'm not in Chi Town.

It's not easter but i do love me some chocolate eggs.  

For those wo are, go get sum' o' dat'

It must take a special lady to tame that shrew, or shrub, or jesus...that thing looks angry!

Go get her girls..she all yours! 

She wants to play with another girl and it;s up to her if the man gets to join in.

I don't know if i could just sit there and watch i'd at least have to be naked and banging my girl while things were going on with them.

But some people like it that way.

Nice poka(sp?) dotted bed sheets, fag. 

Nice tan lines honey.

Shes 30 he's 40 and they both like dudes. If you don't mind crosing the streams with another swordsman and your in Miami go get her..and him.

That was the headline and it says it all.

She does have a nice rack though. To bad she bats for the other team.

She posted a nice little story of what she wanted to do:

"....eat my pussy for hours and let me ride that dick.... let me do anything i want .....i love to watch a man to eat my pussy and me looking down and push ur head deeper in that pussy... than me ride that nice thick dick ... letm e get it any time i want it .....  "

She's all about pussy and Dick...no wonder she's on CL Casual Encounters.

IS That a PEN! 

HOLY SHIT. It looks like the thing, the sand pit thing, that Luke Skywalker was going to get thrown into in Empire Srikes back.

 Any Takers? She wants you to...put..it..in ...THERE!

Yes these are people who need sex on Craiglist. You can do the searching for yourselves but I make it fun and easy. So sit back and enjoy.

Spread and waiting for your hungry cock.

I should wirte these things!

But, really, what they want is: " we are looking for a male tonight for a threesome. You must be between 25-39, mature, D/D free, sane, respectful and cut."

COME-ON! Sane, respectful and cut...you'll never find that. 

P.S. please respect MY COCK! Whatever! 

She's cute and i'd like to stick her...so fuck your respect buddy.

..the add says "Noth of Boston" so you know that means Revere, skanks!

Not bad but theres more.

Wait for it...the money shot is cummin"!

Jesus, all the way up to her neck, who is this guy Peter Norths brother!

Anyway they are loking for a girl to join in on the fun with them. "no drama, just fun!!!!"

But really, I've never had a 3 way with a girlfriend...doesn't it always lead to drama in some way> there really can't just be sex with someone else then you 2 go back to you life as a reagular couple. Can you?

Fuck it, i don't really care but, i do like seeing her covered in baby batter.

"Older woman for a Young Stud"

She says she is in Boston for a "Conference" and wants a hot college kid who "has stamina" to ride her like the old dog she is.

Old or not, she has a nice butt and i'd like to slap it. 

Loking for Mr right.

It sucks that this pic is so small but even so...you can tell how huge DAT ass IS!

"We are looking for a safe, sane male who is between the ages of 18-32 to handle her." Sounds to me like "handle her" means like a cow a dairy farm. I've handled my fir share of asses like this and i still don't care what you think of me. I was drunk and I got laid...we've all done it. If not your lying to your friends.

He wants you to fuck his wife.

"seeking st8 male to fuck my drunk blindfolded wife Saturday night
She is 42 short over weight big ass and legs cute ass hell with a hot litte pussy. "

Now he says "overwieght", at first, but then says "hot little pussy". So which is it? Seems like an oxymoron to me but I'd fuck her. 

"I am looking for sombody cool me down!I am so hot!"

You know there's a heat wave in the Valley and if I was there i'd like to help her out.

This girl wants "Hot and Hung"

 Claims that the pic is really her. When ever I see "yes, the pic is really me" I always wonder but since it's not overty nude and not a face pic i almost believe her.

 Regardless if it is or is not here she does have a smokin hot bod.

If it's her!

She say's: " what do you think about my tits. The best response gets it all"

She can do better.

She wants some dick in AZ

"Anybody wants give me some love."

That's what she said. Noe go get her tiger.